I haven’t quite decided what I want to do with this space yet, but I do feel compelled to do something. I have been an infrequent (& manic) diarist since childhood, but like my childhood diaries, I have started and abandoned blogs almost simultaneously. Now as someone who has committed spending her life observing and documenting the world, it seems collecting my observations & artifacts here would be the least I could do.

As a child, each diary entry would essentially be an essay about who I was and who I wanted to be. As I get older (and as I enter my last week of my 25th year), I find myself less concerned with being anything in particular as I am with doing – when I imagine my future, I no longer imagine titles and honors I covet, but rather how I want my days, months and years to look and feel. Although I am not yet comfortable with identifying myself as an artist, I have decided to spend my time making art. Perhaps this is why I find myself increasingly drawn to routines as an expression of who I am and strive to be.

Jesse teases me about this – as soon as I discover something that I love (big or small), I try to incorporate it as a standing appointment. “I love this place – we should come here every Sunday morning before we go on our weekly walk” or “I want to keep in better touch with my friends, I should send a batch of homemade postcards to my friends every month.” I am afraid if I don’t incorporate each new positive experience or promising idea into a routine, it will get lost in the chaos. Yet in moments of chaos, routines are usually the first thing to go.

I decided to go to grad school almost explicitly because I knew that if I didn’t, I would stop creating. It’s not a routine I have. As I look around my apartment (or sort through my harddrives), the remnants of several neglected projects haunt me. My new year’s resolution (and if there’s anything I love more than routines, it’s resolutions) for my 26th year, I think, is to make creativity a routine – one that takes priority in my life. I’m still working on the specifics (suggestions welcome) but am particularly drawn to the 365 Project model that my high school friend Roxanne introduced me to it via her inspiring work. In a lot of ways, it makes sense. I am an aspiring documentarian in need of a routine, so what better practice than documenting my own life? It’s a bit intimidating, as so many people I know do it so well, but I think I am ready for the challenge.

Stay tuned.